Suffer the Children

One of the things I find myself doing during the Divine Liturgy is watching the children. Maybe I shouldn't but I do. There is something profound when I see a little one enter the temple and his mother or father gently takes a little hand and teaches it to make the sign of the cross. Then the little ones rush to the candle box grab a candle or two and look up with expectant faces while mommy or daddy drops in a few quarters and gets some candles of their own and together, parents and children approach the icons. The children are so eager to be lifted up to kiss the icons and to set their candles among all the others.

There is a little girl in our parish, maybe three or four, who is not quite tall enough to get her candle in the stand without help, but she tries ever so hard. Recently she discovered that she can set her own candle in two of the stands if she gets behind them on the steps before the iconostasis. She has a little brother, just turned two, just learning to talk, just getting steady on his own feet. During the liturgy he likes poking mommy in the eye and saying "eye" or in the nose and saying "nose". But after a while he tires of that game and scrambles down and toddles over to the nearest icon and trys to pull himself up to kiss it. Daddy lends a hand before something topples over. Then he goes back to sit next to brother and sister at his parents feet...for a little while. Big brother is interesting to watch too, hes five or so. He's old enough to remember most of what he is supposed to do. Most of the time...sometimes with a verbal nudge he remembers to cross himself when entering the temple, and I've seen him cross himself sometimes when he moves from one side of the temple to the other. And when kissing the icons he remembers to make his metanoias first, just like mommy and daddy. Recently I've observed him looking up at his parents during the "Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal" and doing the metanoia's with them.

The other thing like to watch is the relationships that form between the children and the adults in the Divine Liturgy. Little boys and little girls are perpetually standing with or being held by other adults or older children. It is definately a relief for the mommies and daddies whose arms are tired, but it is a joy for the adults who have a little one at their side or asleep on their shoulder. And it is a joy for the children too I think, to know that they are accepted and safe in a larger circle than that of their immediate family. They receive love from everyone around them. The temple for them is a place of love and acceptance, of joyous renewal of friendships, and of comfort, a place where they belong. Even the kid's whose parents are a little too strict and fussy with them find relief in the embrace some sweet lady who takes pity on them and lets them stand with her while she gently directs their attention to what is happening next in the Divine Liturgy. In these days where children are routinely taught to fear and flee strangers for their own safety, it is good to see a place where no one is a stranger for long and adults are loved and trusted even if they aren't mommy and daddy or grandma and grandpa. Maybe in a much larger parish things would be different, but for now they are not and it refreshes the heart to see that they are not.

Then there the moments that are just precious in their own right, the little boy who pretends to direct the choir when he thinks no one is looking, the toddler who is fascinated by the sunbeam on the floor that he can't quite figure out how to step on, the little girl sitting on the floor very carefully folding a red bandana.

And then there are the older children who begin to take reponsibilites as adults. The older boys of course routinely assist at the altar and when they do not they are often the favorite companions of the little boys who like to stand with them from time to time. The older girls too are favorite surrogates for little children both girls and boys. They also help with collecting the offering. And both older boys and girls stay behind a little after Divine Liturgy to clean up, to pluck out the candle stubs, trim wicks on the lamps, sweep the floor, etc. whatever needs doing. There are a couple of adults who help as well and direct things but the kids over the past year have taken on more and more of the responsibility for the cleanliness of the temple on their own.

A memory I think that sums it all up was something I saw at a party at a fellow parishoneer's house last Christmas. Several families were over with their children. And I remember one little girl who was standing on a sofa leaning across the back so that she could get to all the pretty things on the desk behind it. Her mother tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention to have her turn around and sit down, to which the little girl replied, "I'm busy". She had found a cross on the desk and was kissing it.